The concept of love
Love, what is it? People tend to find it difficult to define. It is an interesting and complex topic to think about. Creating your values based on how to approach love can sometimes seem difficult.
Misconceptions about love
Entering a relationship does not always make you much happier. Happiness is not linear. Everyone goes through ups and downs. Choosing to remain single provides more time and freedom to improve yourself. Love doesn’t come without its cons. Good connections are sometimes more fulfilling than putting much time and energy into a partner.
Is love worth the struggles?
Love, much like life itself, is struggling. Acting based on emotions after a breakup is common. Those situations are great opportunities for self-discovery. It may not be fun in the moment, but most people discover valuable insights about themselves through it. Keep in mind that regretting the past is useless. It does not lead to meaningful change. Love promotes life, so it is rather pessimistic to dislike love.
What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil.
– Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
My current mindset on love is that sacrificing your own growth is never worth it. Putting all your focus on the other person may additionally end the relationship quicker, since you may not remain interesting. I was the gentlemanly type of guy during my first relationship, and probably would be again. But I will no longer put my own goals aside. They have priority.
Pitfalls from sex and kids
Sex
Sex, and love are natural desires. It keeps us alive. For certain people it is an addiction. However, in reality, it is only a temporary moment of fun. It is not a big deal.
Having kids
Having children can limit one's personal development. Nevertheless, we should be thankful for the great people who were once created by others. Kids require a lot of time. It is impossible to control the actions of other people, or predict the future.
There is an illusion of achieving meaning when you get kids. It does not automatically make you happier, and involves many responsibilities. Living costs resources. I do not advocate antinatalism. Many remarkable people wouldn’t exist if antinatalists got their way. You either take life with all its flaws, or you do not appreciate life at all.
Videos
I listed some videos about the topic that may be interesting to you.
Why you will marry the wrong person
Notes:
- Romantic ideas are mostly fantasy
- People can't read minds. You should talk calmly to get to an understanding
- You will never be easy to live with
- You seek familiarity in partners. You seek a form of suffering
- Soulmates are a fantasy. No one can understand anyone else completely
Love Explained in ten minutes
Notes:
- Love is agony, becoming one, dying as one
- You can explain love. Infatuation, lust, self-preservation and the fear of loneliness
- Romanticism is about money